Sometimes I’m jealous of full-time working moms and other times, I’m completely envious of those who get to stay home with their littles 100% of the time. As a parent who works part-time, I’m supposed to be grateful that I have the ‘best of both worlds’ and, believe me, I typically am. Today is not one of those days: Three of my five classes had papers due yesterday evening/this morning, and thus I have a responsibility to my job to get work done. I started grading papers yesterday at the expense of family time and conversations with my husband; today, I continued to grade papers despite my toddler asking if I could play with him. It is a day like today where I feel like prioritizing my work is inappropriate and unfair to my child; it is a day where my shortcomings as a mom are brought straight to the forefront of my mind.
Before naps, I read for 45 minutes with my three year old, which definitely was the break I needed in my day. Since, I’ve spent a good part of today reading essays through tears. Finally, at 3:50, I took a deep breath and tried to practice what I preach: Kindness (to myself).
It’s really easy to end up in a spiral as a parent, especially when we feel like we are falling short in such important areas of life. Hopefully, I can better manage the next round of paper-grading.