I’m not going to lie: It’s been a rough holiday season. My husband and I took 3 to see the Boston Pops Children’s Matinee — it was great! We watched a wonderful performance and then met my brother for lunch. We went home and put 3 down for his nap and we rested too — and then it hit: The sickness.

3 awoke from his nap with 103 fever and I had a wicked cough. Both he and I went to the doctor the following morning. I was told that I had a virus and it would pass; that was Monday. By Wednesday, I was diagnosed with bronchitis and Thursday’s urgent care visit left me with a pneumonia diagnosis.

Merry Christmas!

I am not a good sick person. Whatever the ‘man flu’ looks like, I guarantee that my flu looks 100% worse. I was so uncomfortable and was on SIX prescriptions, including a breathing treatment (which I am still on 3x per day and then I will be on it once a day for a month once I’m actually better). Fortunately, the medication helped with physical ailments but nothing could prepare me for the anxiety spike I’d experience.

It’s no secret that I have an anxiety disorder — I am largely able to manage it without medication because I use rest, exercise, and diet as my biggest tools for self-care. Not being able to sleep, however, really threw me for a loop. My anxiety soared and before I knew it, I was hyperventilating in the bathroom because I’d convinced myself I ruined Christmas for my family.

Anxiety is a hell of a thing. It can take the most illogical thought and convince you that it’s the glaring idea in everyone’s minds.

Fortunately, once the medication started to kick in, I was able to sleep and reset. I am still feeling sick but my mental state is more coherent than it was 10 days ago. I still feel like my Christmas was ruined because of illness, but I do recognize that nobody else’s was — we still had plenty of family time and lots of laughter.

Ultimately, the point here is that Christmas was a rough this year for me but I’m looking forward to setting goals for the new year. I have some ideas in mind and a lot of updates to wrap my mind around from the last month.

What are some of your goals for 2019?