gotcha day

October is such a fun and busy month: 3 turns 4 and our Bruttie boy turns 10 a week later. There is a lot of celebration and far more cookies and pizza than usual. This month, we decided to do our family fun date around 3’s birthday because that’s what scheduling permits. I can’t wait to write a recap of that. Alas, I digress.

The most pivotal thing that’s ever happened in October is 3’s Gotcha Day. We officially adopted our little man two days after his second birthday. Our judge was also an adoptive parent and truly spoke from the heart when he met us. I will forever be grateful for his decorum: He gave our two year old child two stuffed animals (Rainbow and Nice Bear as they’ve so lovingly been named) and a gavel. We hired a photographer for our special day and there are some doozies in there with our son waving that gavel proudly.  It was a really memorable day, filled with high-fives, fist bumps, an appearance by his foster family who loved him so deeply, and more tears than I could qualify.

In the days leading up to his adoption, my husband and I were able to sneak away to Savannah and Hilton Head, sans children. It was nice to have a bit of space to process everything that was going on. It had been a stressful few years where infertility blazed the way of all of our stresses and my hormonal rises and crashes. Not fun. Alas, those feelings were largely erased after our little man’s gotcha day.

He had spent ~730 days in foster care prior to that day and it was a relief to know that we could help him to break the cycle. We are quickly approaching our two year anniversary of this special day and I am just beside myself that I get to be his mommy. He has the sweetest little voice and the best personality — he is athletic and shares my love of books; he’s never one to turn down a muffin, even if it means he’s taken it from the trash and attempted to dine al fresca. He is my best little buddy who I take on flights and travel adventures and who never turns down a trip to the zoo or local library.

It’s hard to get through the month without taking a pause to reflect on this special day. We have pictures from the courthouse in our hallway and we always make a deliberate effort to talk about his adoption and remind him how special he is to have so many people love him and want what was best for him.

Of course, adoption and his gotcha day is not made of all sunflowers and applesauce. There is trauma and questions of family history at the forefront of our minds. It is constant. Still, we continue to approach this day with care and love and our best intentions with our family’s light.

 

january reads

I really enjoy reading and typically opt for heavier reads during my breaks from work; this winter break, however, was riddled with illness and I just didn’t have it in me to do much critical thinking, nor did I have the capacity to read anything intense. I picked up Educated at the library but returned without opening it; I’m going to table that read for a later date.

As the semester is quickly approaching, I thought it nice to recap the three books I finished in the first two weeks of 2019. I am not great at doing recaps, largely because I forget nearly everything I do in the day-to-day, but there were topics that truly gave me pause while reading and I’d like to circle back to those areas when I have time to write about them.

The first two books both touched on the balancing act that is being a working woman and being a mom. I love staying home with my son; it’s truly the greatest experience and I’m fortunate that we can afford for me to do this. I do struggle, however, with the lack of paycheck I bring home — I mean, I was 30 when I got married, so I’d been taking care of myself prior to that — working, budgeting, buying all of the clothes – shoes – and purses. This is something I struggle with regularly and I gained insights from each of the first two books. As I mentioned, I do plan to circle back to this at a later time, but wanted to let any parents struggling to feel balanced in the area of work/momming, these books may offer some insights!

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Balancing in Heels — Kristin Cavallari
This book took about 12 minutes to read. The writing is not high-level but the tone is genuine and the content really drove home for me the importance of balancing work/outside the home responsibilities with my love of being a parent. I also really enjoyed the smoothie recipes listed!

 

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Instant Mom — Nia Vardalos
As someone who’s been through infertility, IVF, and adoption through foster care, this book really resonated with me. I felt so many connections to Nia’s experiences. Of course, my personal side offers way too much to share in a book recap, but there were two quotes that hit deeply: “I feel powerless. The doctors explain it’s the drugs. I’ll bet it’s the glaring fact that this is not working” (36) / “You can’t push grief down and pretend it’s not there” (57). These two quotes really nailed how I felt during the lowest point of my life and it was empowering to read such rawness from someone else’s experience and know that we both (and many other women) overcome such difficulties.

 

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Whiskey in a Teacup — Reese Witherspoon

I read this in a day — sweet and quick. Her grandmother seemed like a real spit-fire and I appreciated the care used when sharing family stories and I loved the chapter on dogs.