kids & responsibilities

We believe in shared household responsibilities. Some people classify these things as chores but we think they’re necessary for everyone to pitch in for the house to run smoothly and also for the kids to learn to take proper responsibility for things.

3 has the simplest chores, of course. He is responsible for matching his socks, he also folds and puts away his pants and pajamas (though I fold the tops). He can’t reach the other drawers yet, but he does take ownership for what he can. He is also responsible for keeping his room clean and putting away his dishes. He enjoys feeding the dog, too, so he frequently takes on that responsibility (or watching him in the backyard).

11 and 13 have similar chores: They both do their own laundry (this started a couple years ago when they both decided they were done sorting laundry; it started as a consequence and we just decided to turn it into a responsibility); on some weekends, they do some dusting and swiffering and each clean one of the two bathrooms they use. They are responsible also for keeping their rooms clean and doing their homework.

In the mornings, 11 takes the recycling down and in the evenings, he’s earned dish duty (loading the dishwasher). 13 unloads the dishes in the mornings and walks the dog after school — she just started this responsibility after turning 13. It’s comical; today, for example, she stood at the bottom of the steps begging the dog to come downstairs for his walk. We decided to add this responsibility to take something off my plate but Brutus isn’t really impressed; hopefully, he will start to trust her intentions sooner than later so he more swiftly will leave with her.

We feel strongly that having household responsibilities is important for a few reasons — it makes everyone invested in the house, it allows everyone to contribute, and it offers ownership of certain spaces/aspects of things. What types of chores/responsibilities do your families divvy?

jan reflections & feb goals

I have been really enjoying my new schedule of yoga and time in Boston. I cannot truly describe how it makes me feel – I am less stressed and more free and it is positively affecting my life far beyond the mat. My husband and I have talked about the small changes we’ve been making so far in 2019 (largely, being deliberate about working out and making time for ourselves to feel like ourselves).

I have scale goals and non-scale goals, so I’m not going to delve too into those but I wore a shirt this past week that fit looser than it ever has. It was noticeable. Out of curiosity, I weighed myself and took some measurements this morning. I’d like to do it again at the beginning of March and see what, if anything, has changed.

In addition to weekly yoga classes, I’d like to get the dog for a nice, long walk on Sundays when I don’t practice yoga. Today, we knocked out 1.5 miles and he is snoring to my right as I type. This is good for the both of us, but the New England weather plays a role in this goal.

Of course, I have non-movement goals, too. I made time to read a few quick reads in January and now that my semester has started, I have less time to read recreationally. I bought the book, The Grace of Enough, and it’s my goal to read that in my spare time. (NOTE: On Monday, I took a mid-day yoga class before I headed to work. I noticed that half a dozen attendees of my class had books; the English professor in me was giddy! I took note of this and plan to toss my book in my bag for the T/before class to maximize reading time.)

Lastly, activities with my toddler. I want to be more deliberate in getting to activities that allow/encourage him to socialize more. We tend to do a lot of museum or zoo visits, so my goal for February is to take him to move open-gym type activities.

Do you set monthly intentions/goals?

january reads

I really enjoy reading and typically opt for heavier reads during my breaks from work; this winter break, however, was riddled with illness and I just didn’t have it in me to do much critical thinking, nor did I have the capacity to read anything intense. I picked up Educated at the library but returned without opening it; I’m going to table that read for a later date.

As the semester is quickly approaching, I thought it nice to recap the three books I finished in the first two weeks of 2019. I am not great at doing recaps, largely because I forget nearly everything I do in the day-to-day, but there were topics that truly gave me pause while reading and I’d like to circle back to those areas when I have time to write about them.

The first two books both touched on the balancing act that is being a working woman and being a mom. I love staying home with my son; it’s truly the greatest experience and I’m fortunate that we can afford for me to do this. I do struggle, however, with the lack of paycheck I bring home — I mean, I was 30 when I got married, so I’d been taking care of myself prior to that — working, budgeting, buying all of the clothes – shoes – and purses. This is something I struggle with regularly and I gained insights from each of the first two books. As I mentioned, I do plan to circle back to this at a later time, but wanted to let any parents struggling to feel balanced in the area of work/momming, these books may offer some insights!

Image result for balancing in heels

Balancing in Heels — Kristin Cavallari
This book took about 12 minutes to read. The writing is not high-level but the tone is genuine and the content really drove home for me the importance of balancing work/outside the home responsibilities with my love of being a parent. I also really enjoyed the smoothie recipes listed!

 

Image result for instant mom nia vardalos

Instant Mom — Nia Vardalos
As someone who’s been through infertility, IVF, and adoption through foster care, this book really resonated with me. I felt so many connections to Nia’s experiences. Of course, my personal side offers way too much to share in a book recap, but there were two quotes that hit deeply: “I feel powerless. The doctors explain it’s the drugs. I’ll bet it’s the glaring fact that this is not working” (36) / “You can’t push grief down and pretend it’s not there” (57). These two quotes really nailed how I felt during the lowest point of my life and it was empowering to read such rawness from someone else’s experience and know that we both (and many other women) overcome such difficulties.

 

Image result for whiskey in a teacup

Whiskey in a Teacup — Reese Witherspoon

I read this in a day — sweet and quick. Her grandmother seemed like a real spit-fire and I appreciated the care used when sharing family stories and I loved the chapter on dogs.